Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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