OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
