I wannas sexs uuuuu
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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