I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
