i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
