gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Randomize
