either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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