i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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