our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
