I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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