Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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