Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
We talked him into tasing himself.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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