she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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