Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
This is classic penis vs brain.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
