I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
