singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
