There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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