Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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