So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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