So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
