he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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