whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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