i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
she told me i tasted like america
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize