His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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