i permit you to call me
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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