Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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