He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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