Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I think I sprained my soul last night
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
