I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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