Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
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