I bet he comes in French.
I smell stomach acid.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize