You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You took a bar mat shot.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
