Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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