I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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