woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize