Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
