what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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