There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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