I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
