yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
