bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
