We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
