just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
