Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
i need some magic done to my vagina
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
