dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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