I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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