He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
