part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
