im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize