im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
