If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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