Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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