I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
