before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
