okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
