On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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