man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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