I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
